Why I Hate Sport

I am not a sports fan, I do not follow or support any sports teams or individuals, I am hardly even interested in the results of our national teams. This is especially strange considering that I stay in South Africa; arguably the second most sport mad country in the world and second only to Australia in worshiping sport accomplishments and idols. When everyone else is discussing the previous day’s game, I make vomiting motions (sacrilege!)

I was never interested in the mainstream sports practiced in our schools, and first joined rugby practice to prove to an abusive teacher that I could play as well as any of the other boys (I played in his first team for two years). In high school I could not take part in any sport because I had developed a back problem, and was an outcast. Well, I grew out of the problem with the help of some physiotherapy, and today I’m actually glad that I couldn’t take part in those high-impact sports.

You see, the guys who took part in sport at school (and probably at varsity too) are mostly a bunch of overweight beer-toting old men who have difficulty lifting their injury ridden bodies from the armchair from which they cheer, jeer and criticize players and referees alike with their hard-earned superior knowledge of the game.* I, on the other hand am fitter, leaner, stronger and healthier than ever (look at the photograph and judge for yourself).

Although it has never been my intention to compete in any sport, I enjoy a healthy lifestyle and a good gym session to keep myself in shape. I am not saying that everyone should follow such a strenuous regime. When youngsters ask about my gym programme, I always respond by asking them what they are training for. In my case, I want to be fit, healthy and strong enough to lug myself around without help until the day I finally lay my head down (or in my abbreviated version; “to keep moving and making noise”).

Let your goals dictate how you train. Weight training is probably not the best thing if you want to run marathons, road work is probably not the greatest thing if your family has a history of joint problems (it’s very high impact), cardio is –contrary to popular belief - not the best thing for weight loss. But more on that later; for now the important thing is that any exercise is better than no exercise at all, and once you get moving on a regular basis, it will have a positive impact on your whole life.

So, when you’re watching that marathon again and thinking that you want to take part next year, or when you cheer your favourite team again and wish you were a bit younger, remind yourself that it is never too late. Adopt this word today GOYA, it is an acronym derived from “Get Off Your Ass!” Get up, get going and make it your goal to just keep moving until you have the gumption to decide what you are training for (three times a week should do it). After all, setting goals is a serious business, and you might settle for something simple (as I did) and just move for the sake of proving you’re alive.

*NOTE TO SELF: Darn, that's a long, clumsy sentence! Don't do that.